Recognize Your Inner Critic: Write a Story With a Recovering English Teacher
My Inner Critic was one of the biggest obstacles I faced when I transitioned from eleven years of teaching high school English to a creative writing life. I didn’t leave teaching with the intention of building a creative writing life. I set out to write a book, and it didn’t go well…at first.
What is the Inner Critic?
The Inner Critic is that persistent voice inside your head that harshly judges and critiques your work. It’s not a helpful critique that encourages you to improve and strive for better. It’s harmful. It manifests as self-doubt, perfectionism, and fear of failure. It prevents you from freely expressing your creativity. The Inner Critic can stop a writer in their tracks.
My teaching career had instilled in me a raging Inner Critic that I had to overcome. The work of teaching naturally has a strong critical component. I would never say that teaching is all criticism, but a large part of my job was to evaluate student work, rate their writing on a predetermined rubric or scale, and prescribe a score to their words.
As a teacher, I was constantly evaluated and graded, and bad scores had bad consequences—judgment from peers, being put on a remedial coaching plan, loss of bonus pay, and even losing my job. The high-performance, high-achievement environment did not allow for creativity and experimentation because failing was not acceptable—for the students and myself.
It’s no wonder that my first attempts to write a book didn’t go well. My Inner Critic was turned on full strength, and I was afraid to make mistakes. Maybe your career has similar characteristics, and you sit down to write a story because you’re craving something creative and liberating, but you’re paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. Or, you start writing, and you restart and restart because you can’t seem to get the words just right. Or, you’re miserable the entire time you’re writing because you can’t stop critiquing your story and grading it.
These are all signs that your Inner Critic is turned on full force when we need it to be at a low simmer. (Yes, a little Inner Critic can be a good thing. More on that in the future.)
Three Things to Remember When Your Inner Critic Threatens to Stop You in Your Tracks:
You are not required to show your work to anyone. This means that you can write freely without fear of judgment. Your story, poem, or journal entry is for your eyes only.
You can write simply for the joy of it. You don’t need to break out your red grading pen. You can write something imperfect, and leave it that way. It’s kind of liberating if you try it.
Everything starts imperfectly. Your story will never flow from your brain onto the page in a perfect version the first time you try. That should comfort you because it is normal for first drafts to be imperfect. It’s normal for second drafts, third drafts, and however many drafts you need to get your story the way you want it. Embrace the imperfection as part of the process.
Remember, overcoming the Inner Critic is a journey. I’ve been working on this for a long time, and my Inner Critic still rears its ugly head, but now I know what it is and have some strategies to deal with it.
Stay tuned for the next post in this series, “How to Stop Grading Yourself: Write a Story with a Recovering English Teacher,” where we’ll delve deeper into strategies to silence that critical voice and embrace your creative process.
I made a creative writing course with Julie Tyle Ruiz at Storybold Studio. Is it time to invest in your writing journey? Unlock Your Creativity and Tell Amazing Stories.
